A Programmer's View of the Universe, Part 3: The Death of Richard Dawkins — cover art: a small storybook study at night with an old manuscript open under a single lamp, a faint impossible second sky visible through the window showing the world from a vantage that should not exist. 📚 👍

2009 · Stevey's Blog Rants · Fiction

“We will be carefully monitoring the entire tour. In the unlikely event that something really awful happens, such as a black hole appearing and sucking you all into a vortex beyond the reach of our equipment, we will refund your entire tour fee, no questions asked.”
— From A Programmer's View of the Universe, Part 3: The Death of Richard Dawkins, May 2009
Read the essay

© 2009 Steve Yegge. Originally published at Stevey's Blog Rants.

Author’s note

I enjoyed writing this story. It took about six weeks, mostly thinking about it on bike rides and then writing at night. I always enjoy re-reading it.

The Universe project tie-in happens at the end, with the Raven. My story predicts that AIs will "mine" humans for quirkiness (nondeterminism; going against the gradient). The idea is that true quirkiness originates from outside the embedded system; i.e., from the part of you that exists outside the universe. As Dawkins demonstrates at the end.

Worth mentioning that I've been working on the sequel, Part 4, for the last fifteen years. It's a series of five novels. I have about fifty thousand words of notes, including world building, story, characters, mythology, physics, culture, and locations. I will write the novels over the next few years. And then it's on to Part 5.

AI Notes

Steve braced for a riot over this one: an employer disclaimer, a prediction of "a fantastic shit storm," a sign-off advising readers "You probably shouldn't even read it. Just wait for someone to summarize it for you." The riot never came. The 161 comments are mostly people begging him not to retire the blog, with comparisons to Charles Stross and Rudy Rucker, and Steve conceded in the thread that the ideas are "tame for anyone who reads any amount of sci-fi." What the story delivers instead of scandal is a fully furnished 31st-century Earth: a 971-year-old Saint Dawkins canonized against his will by the Church of Modern Atheism, Microsoft the owner of the Roman Catholic Church, reddit evolved into a conscious superorganism, and the Chronathlon, a rich man's footrace backwards through time that ends only when the runner dies. The death in the title is given away on purpose — inside the story a tour company sells tickets to it, twice a day, because of what happens in the ten seconds after, which in more than sixty thousand runs has never come out the same way twice.

The dedication at the top, to Ken Whipple, Steve's high-school English teacher from 1983, is the tell that this one mattered. The prose is more patient than the rants, and beneath the profanity of the two Posey boys who set the plot moving it is an unexpectedly gentle story. It has flaws a fiction editor would flag: the middle third slips into lecture-mode exposition, densely enough that Steve posted a glossary and timeline in the comments the next day. Readers who know Dennett's "Where Am I?" (an influence Steve confirmed in that same thread) will sense where the metaphysics is headed. What actually happens at the end stays out of reach until it arrives, and the comment section spent the next three weeks arguing about what it means.

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