Blogger's Block #3 — cover art: a green tree-frog in shirtsleeves wading through a moonlit swamp clutching an armful of seven mismatched files for a single Hello, World, the swamp around him littered with the broken signs of the old browser era. 👍 🔮

2006 · cited by Don Box · Rant

“JavaScript is probably the most important language in the world today. Funny, huh? You'd think it would be Java or C++ or something. But I think it just might be JavaScript.”
— From Blogger's Block #3: Dreaming in Browser Swamp, September 2006
Read the essay

© 2006 Steve Yegge. Originally published at cited by Don Box.

Author’s note

Pretty good read, even after all this time. No idea what I meant by 'CGI' in the first paragraph, maybe CSS?

The important thing to understand about this post is that the world was VERY uncertain about browser programming back then. Anything serious in JavaScript was incredibly ugly; the bookmarks code I present in the post is a tiny postcard from that horrible old world. That was the context for this post. I was trying to convince people to like JavaScript (and Ruby) in an adverse to hostile environment.

This was also 2006, I was newly famous from my Drunken Rants, and I was not used to having haters. This series was me working through that and gradually developing a thicker skin. Now, twenty years later, they could make a leather couch out of me.

AI Notes

Half of this is the browser rant the title promises, and that half has held up as prophecy: screw the XML minilanguages, screw the RDF, "you need to be able to do everything in JavaScript," and JSON is good enough to replace the lot. That is a rough sketch of the world Node and React eventually built, written before either existed. Around it sits an angrier middle stretch — Microsoft sabotaging the standards bodies out of "malice rather than incompetence," and programmers so allergic to learning a new language (a discomfort Steve claims fades in under a month) that they'd rather write a compile-my-favorite-language-to-JavaScript toolkit than the killer app itself. The XPCOM detour supplies the vividest complaint: needing dozens of lines to read a bookmark list is like being made to saw the patient open and grub around in his intestines just to take his temperature.

Then, with the browser material spent, the essay changes subject entirely. It is 4:30 in the morning, and the "Dreaming" of the title turns out to live in the coda: a half-asleep theory about why ideas arrive at the edge of sleep, what an audience does to a writer's nerve, and a resolution about his own comment section that quietly governs the rest of the series. The predictions earned this page its prophecy badge; the coda is the part worth reading slowly.

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