Business Requirements are Bullshit — cover art: a self-important warthog in a stiff black Victorian tailcoat reading aloud from a comically long parchment scroll that unrolls off his desk and ends in a tipped wicker wastebasket. 😄

2008 · Stevey's Blog Rants · Rant

“The OmniGo had four companies involved, making it the hardest possible project to back out of, even though by the halfway point virtually everyone involved knew the product would kind of suck.”
— From Business Requirements are Bullshit, August 2008
Read the essay

© 2008 Steve Yegge. Originally published at Stevey's Blog Rants.

Author’s note

Absolute banger. I completely forgot I wrote this post, and re-reading it for the first time in over fifteen years, I think it's one of my best. Clever as hell, and I still deeply believe the core thesis.

AI Notes

A CEO, freshly disabused by Good Agile, Bad Agile, writes in to ask how he should gather business requirements. The reply is that the question is the problem: requirements-gathering is "a leading indicator that the project will fail," because if you have to go hunting for customers now, they won't be there at launch either. The fix is the Golden Rule of Building Stuff — only build stuff for yourself — lifted from Buffett and Lynch's "invest in what you know and want to use right now." If you actually want the thing, you already know the requirements; you don't gather them, you trim them, and every cut is a decision you're qualified to make.

The argument rides on a Geoworks war story: the HP OmniGo palmtops, built to spec for an imaginary on-the-go accountant, launched successfully and sold to nobody — while product manager Jeff Peterson, over beers in 1994, described the iPhone. The Flip camcorder is the positive case (take a known product and strip features away); a mountain-bike seat extender supplies the closing twist, that even a product everyone wants can be killed by fashion alone. Eighteen years on it reads as a direct ancestor of The Anthropic Hive Mind's no-spec operating model, and as an early instance of Steve's recurring claim that bad building is a cultural failure rather than a technical one. Funny, prescient, and still true.

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