Four console games you might like — cover art: a warm storybook study at evening where four small handcarved wooden game-cartridges of distinct silhouettes are lined up in a small oak rack on the workbench, each one different, each one gently glowing in lamplight. 🕹️

2008 · Stevey's Blog Rants · Review

“A friend of mine finally bought me the game, came over, and sat there and glared at me until I played it. That's one way to do it!”
— From Four console games you might like…, March 2008
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© 2008 Steve Yegge. Originally published at Stevey's Blog Rants.

Author’s note

Bottle episode. Portal and Twilight Princess have both stood the test of time remarkably well, and are both worth a playthrough (Portal on PC if you like).

AI Notes

Written a few weeks after Blu-Ray won the HD format war — the event that finally shook loose the PS3-and-58-inch-plasma purchase the Uncharted review here runs on. Steve gives the television shopping nearly as much ink as the games: plasma versus LCD, a Comcast DVR with no room on it, a lifetime TiVo membership about to become worthless. The criticism itself has aged unusually well for something written mid-console-generation. He calls Portal "a little masterpiece" months after it shipped and rates Mario Galaxy the best Mario since the original arcade game, both boring consensus now, and both games he had to be talked into: Portal "sounded boring as hell," and Galaxy looked literally nauseating, in the motion-sickness sense. The Galaxy entry turns into a soundtrack review along the way, with YouTube links to orchestral performances and an echo of Holst's Mars detected in the Battlerock level.

The Twilight Princess entry works from memories almost a year stale, and the Uncharted rave is hard to untangle from new-TV euphoria — Steve admits nothing else he has put on the screen compares to it. One tip has kept its value: replay Portal with the developer commentary on, especially if you build software for a living. His closing wager, that the PS3's parallel-processing headroom would eventually win it the edge over the 360, came in roughly right, just slower than he guessed. And the funniest line in the post belongs to Nathan Drake, whose reaction to a grenade landing next to him Steve declares unrepeatable — so it stays unrepeated here too.

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