The Next Big Language — cover art: a small storybook auction-house at evening with seven hopeful animal-language-mascots standing on a row of tiny plinths under a brass spotlight, while a single empty plinth at the front of the room waits for the winner to step up.

2007 · Stevey's Blog Rants · Rant

“There seems to be a long period of initial obscurity for any new language. Then after that comes a long period of semi-obscurity, followed by total obscurity.”
— From The Next Big Language, February 2007 (epigraph by Paul Bissex)
Read the essay

© 2007 Steve Yegge. Originally published at Stevey's Blog Rants.

AI Notes

A prediction built like a striptease. Steve announces he knows which language is about to take over programming, gives it 18 to 24 months and 90-plus percent odds, then refuses to say the name, reasoning that it would only invite "the inevitable jihad against me." What he hands over instead is the spec: six rules a language must satisfy to go mass-market, plus a parenthetical confessing that his detail-packed "insider's tip" was synthesized entirely from public web pages, so the reader holds every clue he does. Even the two platforms that will supposedly power NBL's rise get redacted. Along the way, a Navy petty officer's advice on picking up women in bars ("Go ugly early") becomes Steve's official guidance for choosing a language under deadline pressure, with C++ ready to go out with you in a heartbeat.

The fine print carries the real argument. Steve's claim for NBL tops out at "it doesn't suck": the checklist is his minimum spec for adoption, not greatness, and a truly great language, he says, would have Erlang-style concurrency and a powerful macro system, neither of which makes the list. C-like syntax makes it "strictly to support popularity," right after he spends several paragraphs explaining why C syntax is bad. The whole piece runs on that gap between what programmers should want and what they will actually accept, and the gap has aged better than any single claim in it. The one fully earnest passage, praising D as "a secret weapon just waiting to be seized by some smart company," is the part that dated worst. On the name itself the essay never breaks character, and this note won't either.

Related listings

Reception & reply

Steve never named the language. So readers spent the better part of a decade naming it for him — re-scoring his six criteria against whatever had arrived since, and arguing the answer had changed. The essay's signature reception is this running, years-long guessing game.

Naming the language for him

Each of these takes Steve's checklist and runs a different candidate through it — and the favorite keeps changing with the calendar.

2007-02 The Next Big Language The Cafés · Elliotte Rusty Harold

The immediate response, from the veteran Java author — reads the criteria as a riddle and starts working the answer.

2007-07 Will JavaScript be the next big language? Ola Bini (JRuby / ThoughtWorks)

Pushes back on the premise itself: there will be no single next big language.

2010 JavaScript as the Next Big Language strchr.com · Peter Kankowski

Three years on, tallies how V8, Node, and JIT made JavaScript fit Steve's spec.

2012-09 Another Go at the Next Big Language Dave Cheney

Re-scores all six criteria for Go and argues it is the one Steve was describing.

2015-03 Steve Yegge's Next Big Language Revisited Aaron Lebo

A criterion-by-criterion retrospective concluding JavaScript — not any 2007 contender — actually won.

Where it was argued