Scheming Is Believing — cover art: a young wizard in a cornflower-blue robe and pointed hat traversing a snowy mountainside on quiet telemark skis, while a small group of skiers and snowboarders nearer the lodge below glance up at him with mild puzzlement. 💩

2005 · Drunken Blog Rants · Rant

“Lisp and Scheme basically snuck up on me. The most remarkable thing about Lisp is that it's designed to let you evolve it however you want, remaking it for your problem space.”
— From Scheming Is Believing, February 2005
Read the essay

© 2005 Steve Yegge. Originally published at Drunken Blog Rants.

Author’s note

This is one of my worst ever. It needs at least 50% cut, possibly as high as 100%. I'm keeping all my essays here for historical honesty, even the ones I don't like anymore. But whew, yeah. I've done better.

AI Notes

Written the morning after the conversion took. The essay went up on February 7, 2005, and Steve places the moment Lisp finally "clicked" at "right around yesterday" — a night he unexpectedly spent writing quicksort for fun and doing the three-star textbook exercises nobody ever does. So the preacher here is a convert still flushed with it, addressing his Amazon coworkers through a long skiing conceit (Lispers and Schemers are the skiers and boarders up on the mountain, OCaml people ride telemark skis, everyone else is on inner tubes down by the parking lot) before wandering off into type systems, interpreters, and why every language has a natural maximum system size. That middle stretch is what Steve's own note is condemning, and parts of it have curdled: a drive-by insult of the entire Python community, and the confident prediction that missing macros "may well be the thing that finally kills Java."

What survives the sprawl is the Amazon material. The Geoworks confession, where Steve recalls hand-writing an entire operating system in assembly, watching it collapse under its own weight, and then tells his C++-writing readers "you're doing it right now at Amazon," gives the scalability argument a scar to point at. And the closing Q&A, in which imagined readers heckle back ("After all that, I still don't believe you") and then ask whether they can use Common Lisp at Amazon, turns into a history lesson in language politics: it takes in the detail that for Amazon's first few years the only permitted languages were C and Lisp, and what became of Mailman, the much-loved Lisp customer-service application, once it emerged that hardly anyone in the department could read it.

Related listings

  • 2006

    Lisp is Not an Acceptable Lisp

    A year later, with conversion complete, Steve turns the argument inward at the Lisp community itself. Scheming is the welcome at the door; Acceptable Lisp is what he says after he's moved in.

  • 2005

    Tin Foil Hats

    A few weeks later — the same conversion expressed as a thought experiment. Tin Foil Hats is the reasoning that produced the verdict here.

  • 2005

    Choosing Languages

    Companion piece. Choosing Languages is the survey; Scheming is the moment in the survey where Steve himself chooses.